Spring Brings Renewal

Spring is one of my favorite times of the year. It gives a certain feeling that can't be defined, but can be felt. If I had to describe it, I would say it is renewal, the beginning of a new process in the life cycle of the cosmos. I think that resolutions should be on the first day of spring, not new years! This is the time to be open to change, and to embrace spontaneity. And, to illustrate, here is the little bundle that changed our lives recently.

Tristam helped me make that transition from young parent to middle-aged grandfather. It is hard to realize that some of the best moments are slipping away from you, and you forget all the hardship and begin to romanticize what was really a very difficult time. I tend to try to forget all the frustrating moments where I was the less than reasonable parent. Or, when my panic caused me to say and do some things that I am still puzzled by years later. Only now, when I can look at my grandchildren and see that there is an unbroken chain that I am a part of do I start to understand.

Young parents: rejoice! It is just part of the process, and you should strive to enjoy every moment of it, regardless. It will not come again. The little people that you have been privileged to share your lives with you will not remain little. They will grow, if you have not been attentive to them- mindful of the process- you will feel cheated when they are no longer little people but big people, with adult needs, one of which is detachment from the parents that represent a regression to them. And it will lead to friction where none is really needed. I was at best a so-so father, yet my current relationship with my children is perfect. This is because when I realized my mistakes, I admitted them, and told them I was sorry that I didn't do better. I treated them as equals, and explained my fears and worries, and why daddy was sometimes so distracted and inattentive. I wanted them to know that it wasn't because I didn't' love them, but because I felt so inadequate for this important task, and I wish I could have provided them with a better life.

To my surprise, they remembered a lot of bad moments, but they also remembered a lot of good moments where we all pulled together and made a family. If you let them, your children can save you from the darker parts of yourself. Mine did.

And, there you have it- my spring renewal project. I can now enjoy all the things that I just couldn't fully appreciate when I was 'under the hammer.' I can now look back and see how simple it all was! Enjoy people for what they are, not what you think or want them to be. Find the joy in the little things, and know that this moment will not come again. The things I thought were so important were not. The important things- the people- are here. The other stuff is long gone.

And to me, that is the magic of spring- the ability to enjoy once again the things that were always there, just hidden or hibernating for a while. All the old joys are new again, and the world turns. Knowing my place in it, I turn, too- and I am no longer afraid.